Archive of Fact of The Day 2008

      Mableton, Georgia

Preston Womack was arrested in Mableton, Georgia, for violating a local restaurant's dress code. Police Sergeant M. Toler explained Mr. Womack's attire, "Other than wearing his jockey shorts on his head, and his socks on his hands (and nothing else but a smile), he was well behaved."

"Fabric softeners," whether used during the washing or drying cycles, were never designed to "soften" anything. The ingredient that causes the fiber to feel soft is a lubricant commonly known by the name grease.

         Francis Bacon

Riding in his carriage, one very cold day in March of 1626, English philosopher, scientist and statesman Francis Bacon (1561-1626) asked his driver to stop at a house, where he bought a chicken. Next, he stuffed the bird with snow, to compare its putrefaction time with another bird he'd kept at room temperature. And, this experiment produced some unexpected results. Bacon, exposed to the snow and cold weather, caught pneumonia and soon died.

             Orville Wright                          Wilbur Wright                       The Wright Glider

                                    Gustave Whitehead and photo of his aircraft - Whitehead#21

        Clement Ader and his patent (Click on Picture to Enlarge Drawing)

Wilbur Wright, brother of Orville Wright, must have been having a bad day in 1901 when he said, "Man will not fly for 50 years." When Wilbur made that statement, Gustave Whitehead had already flown a well documented half mile on August 14th of that year in Fairfield, Connecticut. And,......... Frenchman Clement Ader, had already "flown" at least a short distance in 1890.

 Flea images and an             53 Story Heritage Plaza
 American Football Field     Building in Houston, Texas
(Click on Picture to Enlarge Drawing)

Champion jumpers of the bug world are common dog fleas (Ctenocephalides canis), which can jump 80 times their height and 150 times their length. If humans could do the same, they'd have no problem jumping over a 50 story building, or leaping the length of 3 American football fields.

     Karma Ram Bheel

     "I ain't got no-body - Mills Brothers on YouTube"

Karma Ram (Bhel, Bheel or Bhil), from the Sindhi tribe, was listed in the 1988 Guinness Book of World Records, as having the world's second longest mustache, with a length of 2.3876 meters (7’10”). In 1989, however, his mustache was stolen, along with his head, after it was amputated from his body. (His head should've sung "I ain't got no-body.")

The English philosopher and mathematical wizard, Bertrand Russell (1872-1970), was also a master at bluntness. When asked if he was willing to die for his beliefs, he replied, "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."

Hospital emergency room doctors and nurses are exposed to so much pain and death, they often "cope" by making up silly names and speculating on their patient's personal habits. One formula for producing laughter contained this axiom: A patient's number of tattooes, times their number of missing teeth, equals the number of days since they've had a bath.

       William Whewell                   Queen Victoria            Bridge on the River Cam

In 1859, English polymath, scientist, Anglican priest, philosopher, theologian, Master of Trinity College, William Whewell (1794-1866), escorted Queen Victoria over a bridge on the River Cam, which at the time was still being used as an open sewer. When Her Majesty asked what the pieces of paper floating on the water's surface meant, Whewell, with his "suave," perfect English, explained, "Those, Madam, carry notices that the river is not good for swimming."

A swim meet was won by Army over the University of Pennsylvania in 1983, even though the two teams were never in the same swimming pool together, or even the same state. A blizzard prevented travel, so each college team swam in its own pool, while officials stayed in communication by phone, comparing times after each heat.

           Stan Musial

With ball players making millions, even during a bad season, compare the standards of baseball Hall-of-Famer Stan "The Man" Musial back in 1960. Playing for the St. Louis Cardinals, he received a record salary of $100,000 that year. However, his "numbers" were down, so he demanded, and got, a pay-cut of $20,000.

  John Calvin Coolidge             Dorothy Parker

John Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933), 30th President of the United States (1923-9), and a man of few words, was nicknamed "Silent Cal." A dinner guest (Dorothy Parker), seated next to him, once said "Mr. Coolidge, I've made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible to get more than two words out of you." He smiled slowly and said, "You Lose." (Upon learning that Coolidge had died, Parker remarked, "How can they tell?")

 Spiro Theodore Agnew

Spiro Theodore Agnew (1918-1996), the 39th Vice President of the United States (1969-1973), serving under Richard Nixon, played in the Pro-Am portion of the Bob Hope Desert Classic golf tournament in 1971. When his first two shots injured 3 spectators, he put his clubs away and joined the audience.

            Elvis Costello                   Oswald Mosley                 Lee Harvey Oswald

Elvis Costello's memorable song Less Than Zero was written about Oswald Mosley (1896-1980), founder of the British Union of Fascists. On Costello's first visit to the United States, he rewrote the lyrics to refer to Lee Harvey Oswald (1939-1963), motivated by a common misconception among American fans that Lee Harvey was the Oswald referred to in the original lyrics. (This rewrite is referred to as the "Dallas version".)

2002 Mercedes-Benz S430

Universal Press Syndicate reported in May 2002, that Ruth Shepard of Uniondale, New York, was extremely thrilled to find a new gold Mercedes-Benz sports sedan sitting in her driveway. Figuring it was a Mother's Day gift from her children, Ms. Shepard began driving it immediately, and persisted ....until she was arrested for not allowing the real owner to take possession. (After the dealership explained their error, she'd hidden "her" car from them.)

   Carl Friedrich Gauss

German mathematician and scientist Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855) contributed greatly to many fields, including analysis, differential geometry, astronomy, geodesy, electrostatics and optics. One day in his lab, while deep in thought, he was told his wife was dying. His only comment was said to have been, "Tell her to wait a moment till I'm done."

              Scrooge

One way Christmas was "celebrated" in 2004: Cameron Keith Miller, 19, of Alexandria, Louisiana, told his family all he wanted for Christmas was cash. But, when they gave him CDs, Cameron took a shotgun and tried to kill all 4 of his family members. Another celebration example, in that same year: Steven Murray, 21, of Feasterville, Pennsylvania, did not receive any Christmas presents, so he held a house warming by burning down his parents home. (Baa, humbug!)

           Anthony Lane                     Roland Joffe                         Scarlet Letter

Movie critic Anthony Lane's review of Roland Joffe's The Scarlet Letter: "Roland Joffe's film is, in the words of the opening credits, 'freely adapted from the novel by Nathaniel Hawthorne', in the same way that methane is freely adapted from cows."

            George III

George III (1738-1820), King of Great Britain (1760-1820), had five nervous breakdowns between 1780 and 1820. During these demented periods, he'd often be found sitting in the woods, talking to the trees and clouds, and was thought dangerous enough to spend some years locked in padded rooms at Windsor Castle. Theory is, he may have suffered the blood disease porphyria, exacerbated by the arsenic-based powder in his wig. Or, perhaps, just as possible, the lead contained in the cooking vessels used to prepare his favorite meal, sauerkraut and lemonade, could have caused intense paranoia and hallucinations.

  Justice Antonin Scalia       Dick Cheney Hunting    Justice Clarence Thomas

In 2004, the Associated Press reported, while Vice President Dick Cheney's case linked to Haliburton was being scrutinized by the U.S. Supreme Court, he took Judge Antonin Scalia on a free duck hunt to Louisiana aboard Air Force II. (Scalia later recused himself from the case.) The Dallas Morning News reported Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas had accepted many thousands of dollars and gifts from "friends." The Ethics in Government Act of 1989 prohibits all federal employees (including "His Honor") from accepting "anything of value" from a person, or group, with official business before that court. (If they do not have "official" business, there is no limit.)

Waiting on his Congressional confirmation to become head of the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, as part of U.S. President Reagan's administration, Alfred Regnery personal car's bumper sticker read: HAVE YOU SLUGGED YOUR KID TODAY?

         Nikola Tesla

Nikola Tesla (1856-1943), inventor of the radio, the coil transformer, wireless communication, fluorescent lights and the alternating-current motor, owned about 700 patents, worth millions of dollars. Yet, with no business skills, he spent his last years feeding pigeons outside New York's Public Library, totally broke. Had he not signed away his AC royalties to George Westinghouse and patent rights to a wireless broadcasting system to J.P. Morgan, he could've died a millionaire many times over.

There was never a Roman emperor named Julius Caesar. There was, however, Gaius Julius Caesar (101- 44 B.C.), who was classified as a dictator. The Roman Empire didn't come into existence until almost two decades after Caesar's death.

           Katherine Hepburn and John Barrymore

After the completion of filming A Bill of Divorcement (1932), the great actress Katherine Hepburn showed her dislike for her co-star, John Barrymore, by exclaiming "Thank God we're finished. I never want to act with you again." To this, Barrymore said, with a tone of confusion, "My dear girl, I wasn't aware that you had."

     A Distant Prospect         Gerald Tyrwhitt-Wilson

Gerald Hugh Tyrwhitt-Wilson (1883-1950), 14th Baron Berners, grew tired one day of listening to an upper-middle-class couple telling of their problems getting seated in a restaurant. The wife of the couple said, "Finally we had to tell them who we were." To this, Lord Gerald questioned back, "And who were you?"

George Georgieff, was a Florida assistant attorney general in charge of the criminal division, in the early 1980's. During that time, he once told reporters he knew for sure the death penalty was a deterrent to murder. That he, himself, was once strangling his wife during a domestic dispute, when he stopped because, "I found myself choking her, and I saw her eyes start to pop out. and suddenly, off to the left or the right, I saw the electric chair."

          Roslin Institute

Farmers who market chicken eggs know laying hens can get depressed and angry jailed inside their small cages, which reduces their egg production greatly. Researchers at the Roslin Institute in Scotland, found a simple solution. They installed television. The chickens soon became addicted viewers, and egg production went back up.

On January 17, 1950 between 6:55 P.M. and 7:30 P.M., the "great Brinks robbery" occurred. Stolen: $2.7 million. Amount of money recovered: $56,541, approximately 2% ($4,635 in Baltimore and $51,906 in Boston). What happened to the other 98%? (Rumor is that it is hidden in the hills just north of Grand Rapids, Minnesota.)

   Robert Penn Warren

Robert Penn Warren (1905-1989) never wrote a line of poetry after becoming Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress. Upon accepting his title in 1986, and a $35,000 salary, he commented, "I don't expect you'll hear me writing any poems to the greater glory of Ronald and Nancy Reagan."

       Hefner 1979              Playboy Bunny                             Hefner 2006

Hugh Hefner, creator of Playboy magazine and the Playboy Bunny, said he created the sexy bunny uniform because when he was a small boy his bed "blankie" was bordered with bunnies. Then, when his puppy got sick, Hefner wrapped the dying animal in his blanket. After the animal died, his mother buried the dog and burned that blanket. Hefner said, "That, when the blanket went up in flames, is when the bunny empire began."

 Or, It Will Take A Bite Out Of You!

The Dallas Morning News reported in January of 2005, that Lonnie B. Howard had been found guilty in a Fort Worth court of indecency with a child. Hearing this verdict, defendant Howard became upset, first throwing a pitcher of water across the courtroom, then lunging at the victim's family. When the bailiff intervened, Lonnie bit him in the face. For this act, Mr. Howard was charged with aggravated assault on an officer. (Howard's mother, was also arrested for taking part in the melee.)

      Charlotte Whitton

Canadian feminist and mayor of Ottawa, Charlotte Whitton (1896-1975), was hosting a reception for the Lord Mayor of London. On her dress, Whitton wore a rose. On the Lord Mayor's chest rested his huge chain of offices. After a few drinks, Lord Mayor asked his hostess, "If I sniff your rose, will you blush?" To this she replied, "If I pull your chain, will you flush?"

          P. T. Barnum

To attract attention to his traveling circus, P.T. Barnum often hooked an elephant to a plow and turn furrows next to the big top (or even beside the train track). One farmer, seeing his land plowed, became so upset, he pushed a bill through the state legislature making it illegal for an elephant to plow cotton fields in North Carolina.

   Fecal Matters in Early
Modern Literature and Art

Brunswick Court Regulations of 1589 stated (and reported to be posted inside Windsor castle in 1590): "Let no one, whoever he may be, before, at, or after meals, early or late, foul the staircases, corridors, or closets with urine or other filth, but go to suitable, prescribed places for such relief." Back then, fancy dress balls inside castles (300 years before toilets), left scores of guests to "go" someplace. So, "after-the-party," servants were left to clean up human waste from almost any place in the castle, which was not occupied during the party, be it kitchen, pantry or library.

 Juvenile Macaca nigra

In 2003, researchers at Plymouth University in England decided to test the intelligence of Celebes Crested Macaque monkeys (Macaca nigra) by giving them a computer. And, the monkeys soon reacted much as some humans do, by going into a rage. Next they showed their disgust by defecating and urinating on the keyboard, all without producing a single word.

      Peter Minuit                                           Guilders                                          Type of beads used for payment

History tells of Peter Minuit buying Manhattan island, in 1626, for 60 guilders worth of beads and fish hooks. Not true. He made his deal and gave his booty to the Canarses people, who were only visiting. They lived in what today is Brooklyn. Minuit should have been dealing with the Weckquaesgeek tribe.

Amin with Archbishop
Janani Luwum (right).
(The archbishop was
later murdered.)

Idi Amin Dada (1924-2003) was dictator of Uganda from 1971 to 1979. During those eight years he deported the entire Asian population (over 70,000) and murdered as many as 500,000 people.

               Dean L. Wooten

Dean L. Wooten, 65, was fired from his job greeting customers at a Wal-Mart in Muscatine, Iowa, for showing them pictures of himself totally naked, except for a Wal-Mart sack and hat — and of telling customers that the sack was the company's new uniform. Wooten, who was later refused unemployment benefits, said he saw no harm in the photos.

      Darryl F. Zanuck

Darryl Francis Zanuck (1902-1979), actor, director, Hollywood producer, was not impressed seeing his first television transmission in 1946. In his opinion: "(Television) won't be able to hold on to any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night."

Charles I, King of England,           Black Cat
from Three Angles

It was told that Charles I of England (1600-49) believed his good luck charm was his black house cat. As war ripped through his country, Charles had this cat guarded day-and-night, fearing the worst should it die. He could've been right? The day after the cat died, Charles was arrested and invited to his own execution.

                 Her Heros

A 55-year-old woman was rescued by firemen in Alameda, California, five days after she accidentally fell from her bed and wedged her body between it and the dresser.

Before the invention of the telephone, few office buildings were built higher than four stories because of the problem with inter-office communications. The other options were vacuum-tubes and office boys (to run the messages). When asked his thoughts on telephones in 1876, William Preece, Chief Engineer of British Post Offices, explained, "The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys."

                     Judith Barsi (1978-1988)

In 1984, actress Judith Barsi (1978-1988) played the part of a girl murdered by her father, in the made-for-television movie Fatal Vision. In reality, four years later her father did kill her, before killing her mother and then himself.

          Shawnna Hughes

The Stranger, a Seattle, Washington, newspaper, reported in December 2004, that Shawnna Hughes of Spokane, had applied for a divorce from her husband, Carlos, who was under a restraining order and in jail for beating her. (Carlos was willing to sign divorce papers.) The divorce was granted, but four days later it was revoked by Superior Court Judge Paul Bastine when he learned Mrs. Hughes was pregnant. The judge forbid the divorce until the birth of the child, solely because the father of the unborn child was not proven.

                 Is foot-in-mouth contagious?

Canadian Prime Minister (1993-2003), Joseph Jacques Jean Chrétien once questioned, "Am I the only one around here with half a brain?" And, on another occasion, perhaps on a full stomach, "When you look at the future of agriculture, you realize that food will become very important in the years to come."

In January 2005, Pastor Jack Arnold was preaching from the pulpit at the Covenant Presbyterian Church in Oviedo, Florida, when he raised his voice and exclaimed, "... and when I go to heaven..." With that statement, the 69-year-old church leader fell dead of a heart attack.

Fourth Earl of Sandwich     Statue of John Wilkes

The common name for a piece of meat between two pieces of bread, was named after the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, who liked to play poker without stopping to eat. His name was John Montagu (1718-92). Here are lines from a noted conversation he had with John Wilkes, Lord Mayor of London. "Upon my soul, Wilkes, I don't know whether you'll die upon the gallows, or of syphilis." To which Wilkes, replied, "That will depend, M'Lord, on whether I embrace your principals or your mistress."

                    1900 Storm                      Destruction after Hurricane Andrew           Louisiana after Katrina

In 1900, a hurricane generating a 15-foot "storm surge" super-tide hit the island of Galveston, Texas, killing more than 6,000 people. In 1992, a 24-foot storm surge, created by hurricane Andrew, left behind $44.9 billion in damages, with most of the devastation in Florida. But, thanks to weather warnings, no one was killed. (Twenty-three others did die in other areas, as well as three in the Bahamas.) Hurricane Katrina, hit the U.S. Gulf Coast, in August of 2005, with a vengeance. It caused over $80 billion in damage and killed 1,836 people.

From Leland Gregory's book What's the Number for 911 again? "Dispatcher: 911. Caller: Help! Help! Send the police! I been shot! Dispatcher: You said you've been shot? Caller: I been shot! Dispatcher: How many times were you shot? Caller: This be the first time!"

Before a landing attempt on May 9, 1994, over Arkhangelsk, Russia, Aeroflot Flight #2315 lost hydraulic fluid, making it impossible for the landing gear to unfold. In desperation, the crew poured every liquid they could find (water, wine, milk, juice and liquor) into the pumps chamber, allowing the plane to land safely.

          Northern Jacana

The most promiscuous creature known is the female Jacana bird. This needy party girl copulates more times per hour than any other on earth. (Their mating system is called polyandry.) DNA studies have shown on average, out of four eggs in a nest, two or three will have different fathers.

Joe Kay was a basketball star at his high school in Tucson, Arizona, as well as a top student, until February 6, 2004. That day, after he made the final basket to win the game for his school, something happened that changed Joe's entire life. Almost the instant Joe Kay made that basket, his fans swarmed the court and, in a frenzied attempt to raise their hero upon their shoulders, they dropped him instead. The 6' 6" player was knocked down and then trampled. Sadly, after being transported to a hospital, doctors found Kay had a torn carotid artery, which had caused a stroke, leaving him unable to speak, or move his right arm and right leg.

         Ginny Conley

The Dallas Morning News reported January 13, 2005, that charges would not be filed against workers who were accused of torturing chickens at the Pilgrims Pride Corp. plant in Moorefield, West Virginia. Ginny Conley, Wood County prosecutor, admitted struggling to try and find an attorney willing to prosecute. (Apparently, no one wanted to end-up with egg on their face?)

       "Green" Cows

Near the beginning of serious recycling, in 1980, at a California Energy Commission symposium in Fresno, California, a Holstein cow was milked by an automatic milking machine, powered by the methane gas produced from the animal's own manure. (Of course, some politicians have used this method their entire lives......)

  Elvis with parents      Elvis at fairgrounds         Elvis in concert

On October 3, 1945, at the Mississippi-Alabama fairgrounds, a grade school teacher entered one of her 10-year-old male students in a talent contest. He sang the song Old Shep and won $5. Between then and June 26, 1977 (his last concert) Elvis Aaron Presley changed music history. He died August 16th, 1977, after Dr. George Nichopoulos prescribed more than 5,300 pills for him during the last seven months of his life.

         Daniel Auber

French composer Daniel Auber (1782-1871), while attending a funeral at a late age, told one of his fellow mourners, "I believe this is the last time I'll take part as an amateur."

Great way to save money one last time is to make an "anatomical gift" of your own body to a medical school. Upon death, they will gladly pick up your body, store it, freeze it, pick it, poke it, slice it into many pieces, then cremate those meaty chunks and broken bones, all totally free.

          Carine Desir

On February 25, 2008, The Dallas Morning News reported on Carine Desir, 44, an American Airlines' passenger on flight #896, from Port-au-Prince, Haiti, to New York City. During that flight, Ms. Desir experienced difficulty breathing, and asked a flight attendant for oxygen. According to the news article, she was twice denied oxygen. Then, with two doctors and two nurses attending her, Ms. Desir died, perhaps because not only one, but both of the emergency oxygen tanks on board were empty.

              Rwanda

A news brief from Parade magazine in February 2008, told of genocide occurring in Congo where 45,000 people were dying weekly. And, in the last decade, disease and Second Congo War had taken the lives of some 5.4 million, making it the deadliest conflict since World War II.

Scott Goldstein of The Dallas Morning News reported on February 26, 2008, Maria Victoria Hoffman, 48, and two male accomplices had been arrested for trying to sell fake Federal Reserve notes. And not just any notes. Some of the denominations had a phony face value of $500,000,000. And, according to the affidavit, the total of the fraudulent notes she was attempting to sell was $275,000,000,000.

On February 22, 2008, world news services reported, a female from Leones, Argentina, identified only as Pamela, had delivered her second set of triplets. She started early, with a single birth occurring when she was 14, then, the first triplets arriving at age 15 and a second set of three at the 'advanced' age of 16. All seven children were born without any kind of fertility treatment. (The chances of giving birth to triplets once are more than 8,000 to 1. The odds of giving birth to a second set are 64 million to 1.)

Aug 2007 with Nephew      Sep 2007, 3rd from Left                                          Jan 2008

The Associated Press reported on February 28, 2008, from Hallowell, Maine, concerning exchange school student Jonathan McCullum, who'd recently returned from Egypt. His parents were shocked seeing their 5'9" (1.75 m) 155 pound (70.31 kg) son reduced to 97 pounds (44 kg). During his four-month venture, the young McCullum lived with a family of Coptic Christians, who fast more than 200 days each year.

       Alan Greenspan

Even the best of news services make mistakes. On Tuesday, April 22, 2003, the closed captions for the 6:30 p.m. feed of Peter Jenning's World News Tonight incorrectly reported, then Federal Reserve Board Chairman, Alan Greenspan had been hospitalized with an "enlarged prostitute." The wording, provided by ABC's Pennsylvania-based closed-captioning contractor, was corrected for the 7 p.m. feed to state "enlarged prostate."

          Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife Elena

On his seventieth birthday, much hated Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu (1918-1989) received congratulations from "Britain's Queen Elizabeth," "Sweden's King Carl Gustav" and "Spain's King Juan Carlos." But, in reality, Ceausescu's birthday cards were all sent by his staff, after none of these monarchs had returned their requests for congratulation. (On Christmas Day, December 25, 1989, both Ceausescu and his wife were shot dead, liberating Romania from his 24-years of Communist reign.)

          Bob Watson                          Tootsie Rolls

On May 4, 1975, Bob Watson, of the Houston Astros, hit the one millionth run in the history of major league baseball. His prize was one million Tootsie Rolls.

       Sigmund Freud

Austrian psychiatrist Sigmund Freud (1856-1939), known as the father of psychoanalysis, had this to say about romance: "All love is transference, nothing more than two normal neurotics mingling their infantile libidos with one another." (Perhaps he'd had way too many Oedipus Complex orgasms?)

    Charles Pichegru                Frozen Dutch fleet

On an extremely cold January 20, 1795, French general Charles Pichegru (1761-1804) led his troops to the outskirts of Amsterdam. There, he found the entire Dutch fleet of ships frozen solidly in the harbor's ice. And, like ducks on a pond, this navy had no choice except surrender.

             STIHL Chainsaw

Antigone Barton, Palm Beach Post Staff Writer, reported May 1, 2002, on Vidal Meneses, 33, who had been found dead in the back of his pickup truck, having committing suicide. What made his death unique was the way he took his own life. According to police, Meneses sawed halfway through his own neck with a gasoline powered chainsaw, with the switch in a locked open position.

             J.K. Rowling and her first book

J.K. Rowling (1965- ) was a single mother on public assistance, when she began taking her baby each day to a neighborhood cafe, away from their cold apartment, to stay warm. From there, she wrote her first of a series of books, Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone, published in the UK, June 30, 1997 (Published in the U.S. titled Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone, Sept. 1, 1998). Even by the end of 2004, she had already sold over 270 million books in 62 languages, earning gross sales of £10.3 million (13.45 million Euros or $20.73 million U.S.)

        Young Gandhi                      Gandhi 1931

The great Hindu leader and philosopher Mohandas Gandhi (1869-1948) was once asked, "What do you think of western civilization?" To which he replied, "I think that it would be a good idea."

         Tommy Bolt

The book “Golf’s Most Wanted – The Top 10 Book of Golf’s Outrageous Duffers, Deadly Divots, and Other Oddities” tells of pro golfer Tommy Bolt who was fined for unsportsmanlike conduct. While his partner putted, during the 1959 Memphis Invitational, ... Tommy "pooted." That fit of flatulence cost him $250.

                                The Bush's Hook 'em Horns

During President George W. Bush's second inauguration, January 20, 2005, television and newspapers around the world showed tapes and pictures of him, his wife, Laura, and their daughters, doing a "Hook 'em Horns" sign, which uses only the index and little fingers sticking out from their hands, symbolizing the Texas Longhorns football team. In many countries around the world, however, those pointing fingers are symbols of the horns of Satan, the Devil himself. And, that was enough to re-inforce what they already felt the leader of the U.S. was.

          Will Durst

Political humorist Will Durst (1952 - ) might be closer to the truth than he is funny: (1) "I'm all in favor of billionaires running for president, instead of politicians. That way we eliminate the middleman." (2) "George Bush is going to go down as the Republican Monica Lewinsky. Because he sucks in the Oval Office." (3) "The administration says the American people want tax cuts. Well, duh. The American people also want drive-through nickel beer night. The American people want to lose weight by eating ice cream. The American people love the Home Shopping Network because it's commercial-free."

        Huot Seng La

The Dallas Morning News reported on March 10, 2008, that eleven months after 70-year-old Huot Seng La, owner of Forest Red's liquor store, was robbed and knocked in the head, putting him in a deep coma, he had died. Then, two hours after his death, his wife, Suon Xieu, 70, working in the same liquor store, was robbed and shot. Dallas police said they'd answered numerous calls at this store, once when Mr. Seng La shot dead a man robbing his store in July 2006. Then, in September 2007, Ms. Xieu was beaten with a pistol, and relieved of $18,000. And, according to police reports, there were three additional robberies in that store in June and July of 2005 and March of 2006.

The Associated Press reported in July of 1997 from Mishawaka, Indiana, that Susanne Kahl Laatz had married her love, Sean Mangan. Then, immediately after the ceremony, the newly weds drove to a local bed-and-breakfast to begin their honeymoon. But as the happy couple climbed stairs to their wedding suite, the new Mrs. Mangan, age 24, fell dead of a heart attack.

From Business Insurance: "The following corrects errors in the July 17 geographical agent and broker listing: United States: Charlotte appeared twice in the North Carolina listing; International: Aberdeen is in Scotland, not Saudi Arabia or England; Antwerp is in Belgium, not Barbados; Belfast is in North Ireland, not Nigeria; Bogota was listed twice in Colombia; Cardiff is in Wales, not Vietnam; Edinburgh is in Scotland, not England; Helsinki is in Finland, not in Fiji; Moscow is in Russia, not Qatar; Nilsen Brothers has an office in Norway, not Oman." (No explanation was given as to why this many errors occurred.)

          Alfred Nobel

When the brother of dynamite inventor Albert Nobel (1833-1896) died in 1888, several newspapers printed Albert's obituary by mistake, calling him a "merchant of death." Albert was so shocked he left his fortune to mankind, creating the annual Nobel prizes. The first three prizes are awarded for eminence in physical science, chemistry, medical science or physiology. The fourth is awarded for literary work "in an ideal direction", and the fifth is given to a person or society that renders the greatest service to the cause of international fraternity in the suppression or reduction of standing armies or in the establishment or furtherance of peace congresses.

                            Kory McFarren Home

The Associated Press reported March 14, 2008, that Ness City, Kansas, Sheriff Bryan Whipple had been called to rescue Pam Babcock, 35, who was stuck on a toilet seat, inside a house trailer owned by Kory McFarren, her boyfriend. Upon arrival, the lawmen learned the woman had developed a fear of leaving that small room, and her boyfriend had been supplying her with food and other necessities for around two years. McFarren had called for help only after Pam's oozing sores stuck her buttocks solidly to the toilet's seat. Also, her legs had atrophied, which may leave her in a wheelchair for life.

Hillary Rodham Clinton         The Clinton Family

A quote from presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton, back when her husband, William Jefferson Clinton, was forty-second U.S. President (1993-2001), concerning release of subpoenaed documents: "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

                         Garry Moore                                    Bishop Sheen

Early television entertainer Garry Moore (1915-1993) was given an award for spontaneity in the 1950's. In his acceptance speech, he graciously paid tribute to "the four guys responsible for my spontaneity: my writers." The next award went to Bishop Fulton J. Sheen, who took the stage and gave similar credits: "I also want to pay tribute to my four writers, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John."

Top Left: President Bush signing the bill;
Bottom Left: Eli Lilly Logo;
Right: A child with Autism

When President George W. Bush signed the Homeland Security Bill into law, in November 2002, a short one-page "rider" had been slipped in that would protect all makers of vaccine ingredients from being sued. Because? Because in 2002, Eli Lilly knew a drug they made for vaccines had already caused autism in thousands of children, and Lilly did not wish to fight lawsuits that could cost them up to $1 Billion dollars.

                             Japanese workers

ABC's Paul Harvey News reports the Japanese have great pride in how old, and how active, their senior citizens are. Rather than retiring, the elderly continue to work, and their opinions are respected. (Last count, that country had over 23,000 people over 100, the oldest being 114.)

        DeAndra Anrig

On March 20, 1988, DeAndra Anrig, age 8, was flying her kite in the sky over Shoreline Park, in Mountain View, California, when a small, low-flying plane snagged her kite, elevating the child about 10 feet, for a distance of 100 feet. The unfortunate child did let go and fall, yet fortunately suffered no major injuries.

This woman weighs
627-pounds. Imagine an
additional 173 pounds.

On March 22, 2008, The Dallas Morning News, with a last-minute news brief, told of Eliseo Gonzalez Jr., a 2 year-old boy in La Joya, Texas, dead of a fractured skull. Eliseo had been dropped off, by his mother, to spend the day with his bedridden aunt. The child was pronounced dead by Hidalgo County Justice of the Peace Bobby Contreras who said, in his opinion, Eliseo's death was totally accidental. He went on to say, the aunt had fallen on her nephew, and her weight may have been the cause of death. This morbidly obese woman weighed 800 lbs (363 kg).

                      Play it again Nora

                    Cat Galaxy

Do you worry about your cat? Do you fear your furry friend is getting bored? If so, your worries are over, all thanks to Nohl Rosen, a fellow feline fancier. And, best of all, you may give your cat this pleasure it deserves simply by "tuning" your computer to online radio, FOR CATS ONLY: catgalaxymedia.com (For privacy, kitty-kat headphones are suggested.).

Reported by Discover magazine, in July 2001, scientists Xiaoguang Meng and George Korfiatis, of the Stevens Institute of Technology, successfully tested a simple kit, consisting of two buckets, some sand, and a tea-bag sized packet of iron-based powder, which could greatly lowering the amount of arsenic in water. In some third-world countries, where arsenic levels in drinking water can reach 648 parts per billion, these kits lowered the levels to a much healthier 10 ppb ....while costing less than $2 per family, per year.

       Brooke Zepp and tumor location

According to major news services, March 24, 2008, Florida resident Brooke Zepp, age 63, survived her operation at the University of Miami/Jackson Memorial Medical Center. During 15 hours of extensive surgery, not only did doctors remove a lemon-size malignant tumor from Zepp's abdomen, but, because of its location, had to remove her stomach, pancreas, spleen, liver, small intestines, and two-thirds of her large intestine. Then, once the tumor was cut out, they had to put all of those organs back in her body....wow!

          "La Scala"

Jacuzzi introduced the "La Scala" in 2003. This bathtub/spa offers a built-in 43-inch flat-screen HDTV, DVD player, floating remote control, and a price tag of $33,759 (plus installation).

             Pope Formosus on trial

When Stephen became pope in 896, he had the rotting corpse of his predecessor, Pope Formosus (891-896), dug up from his grave and tried for "crimes" committed while living. (In papal history, this is known as the The Cadaver Synod or Synodus Horrenda.) Formosus' body was found guilty, stripped of its sacred vestments, deprived of the three "blessing fingers" on his right hand, clad in layman garb, buried, then re-exhumed and thrown into the Tiber river.

     Security Detector                   Mandi Hamlin explaining what happened

The Dallas Morning News reported, March 28, 2008, airline passenger Mandi Hamlin, 37, was stopped by airport security from boarding her flight on Feb. 24th, from Lubbock to Dallas. Hamlin was forbidden because her "chest" had set off metal detectors. The problem? She had metal rings in the nipples of both her breasts. Even though Mandi volunteered to show her bare chest, in private, to a female agent, she was denied, and told to either remove the rings or else no flight. One of the rings was stuck and Hamlin had to borrow a pair of pliers from security to remove it. (Apparently, her metal belly button ring was "okay.")

       EdwardAbbey                 Animal Heroes - Seton      Antarctic Odyssey - Collier

(1) "If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." - Unknown (2) "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." - Edward Abbey (3) "Not Carnegie, Vanderbilt and Astor together could have raised enough money to buy a quarter share in my little dog." - Ernest Thompson Seton (4) "Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." - Unknown (5) "My heart is made strong with licks, slobbers, barks and meows." - Patricia Collier

(1) Tonight's sermon - "What is hell? Come early to hear our choir practice." (2) Correction: The following typo appeared in our last bulletin: "Lunch will be gin at 12:15." Please correct to read: "12 noon." (3) The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water"; The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Clockwise, Left to Right: Proton rocket / Alpha
crew Jim Voss, Yury Usachev and Susan Helms /
Yury with the salami and cheese pizza

Pizza Hut reportedly paid Russia around $1.3 million to paint their logo, 30-feet long on the side of its Proton rocket, which carried a crew to the International Space Station (ISS), in July 2000. Later, on a cargo flight back to the station, Pizza Hut sent the occupants a salami and cheese pizza.

    Philip Morris said the Czech Republic saves
            $1,227 every time a smoker dies

In 1999, one of the world's largest tobacco companies, Philip Morris (now Altria Group), did a report for the leaders of the Czech Republic on the "possible effects" of smoking on the public finance balance in their government. Morris, with their own well researched statistics, were adamant in their disclosure, stated smoking shortens people's lives, which means lower costs to the government for pensions, housing, and even health care for the elderly. When that "secret" report was accidentally released, Philip Morris had already spent $100 million to boost its image. With nothing else to do, they simply apologized. (See the report and the apology at http://www.mindfully.org/Industry/Philip-Morris-Czech-Study.htm)

             3rd Grade Arsenal                    Handcuffs booked into evidence                Central Elementary

On April 2, 2008, the Associated Press reported on the aspirations of nine 3rd grade students (boys and girls) attending Central Elementary School, in Waycross, Georgia. These students collectively brought to class: duct tape, a steak knife, handcuffs and a glass paper weight. The plot unraveled when one student told school officials of a knife in a classmate's backpack. Police Chief Tony Tanner took the kids away, not sure how, legally, these 8-to-10-year-old children could be punished? They apparently planned to knock their teacher unconscious with the paper weight, then bind her with handcuffs, before stabbing her with the knife blade. (Too much TV?)

           Teri Horton and her "Pollock"                         A verified original / Jackson Pollock

Teri Horton, a 70-year-old retired lady trucker, found an abstract painting at a San Bernardino thrift shop, with an asking price of $8. Even though she disliked the painting, her offer of $5 was accepted, so Horton took the painting home, as a gift to a friend. Once home, another friend suggested she have the painting appraised by an art critic, who found it was an original Jackson Pollock painting, worth millions. (Last heard, this lucky woman had turned down an offer from a Saudi Arabian of $9 million, saying her "asking price" was at least $50 million.)

After critiquing a student's writing assignment, an English professor at Ohio University returned the work with an opinion: "I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top."

          The Peterson House

April 3, 2008, a Brockway, Pennsylvania, home containing three generations of one family burned in a pre-dawn fire. The causalities included 40-year-old Kimberly Peterson and nine others under the age of 20, including two infants. Only two family members survived.

 Jasper Newton Daniel            Whiskey Barrels            Jack Daniel's Distillery

Jasper Newton Daniel was born in 1850, one of thirteen children. At age 7, he went to work for Dan Call, a Lutheran Minister who moonlighted as a whiskey maker. When Daniel was 13, he bought Call's still, and, from the start, his skills making and selling whiskey were obvious. During the Civil War (1861-1865), selling to both sides, he earned enough to build a large facility. Known as "Jack," he was the first man in the United States to register his distillery, calling it: Jack Daniel's Distillery.

   Long Handled Hoe                  "Long Handles"

In the depths of their wisdom, the California Division of Industrial Safety banned all weed-pulling and crop-thinning by hand because of possible back injuries. The DIS recommended, instead, the use of long-handled hoes. (For real safety, they should ask the "hos' pimp" first.)

                                                    Robert Young Pelton

In Robert Young Pelton's book, The World's Most Dangerous Places, he wrote "the most likely place to get kidnapped is Colombia." After Pelton's book was released, he took a writing assignment for National Geographic Adventure Magazine, in Columbia, and got kidnapped. (Pelton's web site: www.comebackalive.com)

     Liberia Harper Map                 Liberia Women          UN Peacekeepers in Liberia
     (Killings, in which body parts used in traditional indigenous rituals are
     removed from the victim, continue to occur)

The Washington Post reported on July 11, 1988, from Harper City, Liberia, two young boys (ages 6 and 7), had been murdered by six local political activists, hoping to guarantee their next mayor would be a local mortician, Joshua Bedell. For this bit of "witchcraft" or "spell" to work, they needed two freshly slaughtered left eyelids from one child and the severed penis from another. These six men, all Christians (included a former Methodist minister, a former judge and the chief county prosecutor), were all sentenced to death by hanging.

Police removing bodies from truck

World news services reported April 10, 2008, from Bangkok, Thailand, on the fate of 121 Myanmar migrant workers being smuggled into the popular tourist resort of Phuket to get jobs. When they were found, "packed like sardines" into the seafood compartment of a cold storage truck, 54 were already dead from suffocation, while 21 others required hospitalization.

                                                                                                           Rommel, his aides and his son Manfred (2004)

             Rommel, his command in Africa                                           Erwin Rommel has died

"Hitler is charging me with high treason. In view of my services in Africa, I have the chance of dying by poison. Two generals have brought it with them. It is fatal in three seconds. If I take the poison, none of the usual steps will be taken against my family...." These words came from the "Desert Fox," Field Martial Erwin Rommel, to his 15-year old son, Manfred, on October 14, 1944. Next, addressing his aide, he said "In a quarter of an hour, you, Aldinger, will receive a telephone call from the Wagnerschule reserve hospital in Ulm to say that I've had a brain seizure on the way to a conference." Rommel received his "reward" after being implicated in a plot to assassinate Hitler.

                                    Karason Before                                                                        and After

                                Russian Blue cat

Paul Karason, a 57-year-old resident of Madera, California, has skin almost the same color as the fur on a Russian Blue cat. This change occurred slowly over a 14-year period of off-and-on treating himself for acid reflux disease (heartburn), using a substance called colloidal silver (made from distilled water and silver wire). For the first 4-years, he drank a tumbler of the bitter, milky fluid every day. Then, in 1998, even though he'd cut back on his consumption, he started applying it directly to his face to heal a skin condition.

                   Alan Ralsky

Alan Ralsky became a millionaire sending some 70 million spam e-mails daily, bragging he'd added a wing to his mansion with the profits from one weight-loss mass mailing. That is, he bragged until a group of spam-haters put Ralsky's e-mail address on hundreds of web sites, causing him to receive millions, and millions of spam messages. This caused Ralsky to complain: "They've signed me up for every advertising campaign and mailing list there is... These people are out of their minds. They're harassing me."

                     Hilara Fly

The male Hilara fly, much like the human male, knows he better take a gift to his female, or there'll be no "fun and games" at mating time. So, with sex in mind, this aroused winged-one kills an insect.....then wraps it in silk, before offering same to a picky female, who, if she accepts his gift, will eat it while they copulate.

  Dallas VA Medical Center

April 15, 2008, The Dallas Morning News' front page headline read: "Suicide closes psych ward." The Dallas VA Medical Center was closing its psychiatric wing. Why? On April 4th, a mentally ill patient hung himself with a bed sheet. Before that, another patient hung himself from a frame attached to his wheel chair. And, in January, two patients who met at the center, and had been treated for mental disorders, were released. From there, the two traveled north to Collin County, where they both committed suicide. (FYI: In a 1995 study, this Veterans Affairs facility was rated the absolute worst.)

           Reed Creek                      Panning for gold                     Gold Nugget

In 1799, fifty-years before the 1849 Gold Rush in California, a young boy, Conrad Reed, found a large yellow "rock" on his family's North Carolina farm, which, until 1802, they used as a doorstop. That's when a Fayetteville jeweler gave the Reed family $3.50 for what turned out to be a 17 lb (7.7 kg) gold nugget. Since then, other notable nuggets found in North Carolina have weighed 28 lb (12.7 kg), 25 lb (11.3 kg), and 15 lb (6.8 kg).

           Maugham                      de La Rochefoucauld                    Disraeli

(1) English playwright, novelist, W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965), "Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation of the species." (2) French writer Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680), "True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen." (3) And, finally, British novelist, statesman, Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881), "The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end."

In November 2001, the world's fourth largest advertising agency, Dentsu of Japan, decided to go public, telling the Wall Street firm UBS Warburg to start by selling 16 shares at 610,000 yen ($4,925) each. But UBS switched the numbers and offered 610,000 shares at 16 yen (about 13 cents) each. Before the error was discovered, 65,000 shares had sold, at an estimated net loss of 39,648,960,000 yen (over $320 million U.S.).

 Top to Bottom; Left to Right: Brave/Chief/Wisconsin Nation Flag/Lodge

                                                    Winnebago

An Indian tribe of the Great Lakes was the Ho-Chunk (Hotcâgara), meaning "fish eaters." But the Algonquian tribes (Fox, Sauk, Ojibway/Chippewa) called them a different name, still popular today. That's because, during wars, they'd cover their bodies with clay, causing them to look like muddy water. This inspired the name Winnebago, which means "Filthy Water People."

            Chicken Pox

According to the Associated Press, a group of parents in Pittsburgh (as of October, 2001), were having impromptu "chicken pox parties," beginning as quickly as possible after any child of their group developed the symptoms of this common malady, spreading it "naturally" among their children. (FYI: some research indicates "natural" is more natural.)

       Kevin McCarthy                         Lutefisk

Several years ago, Kevin McCarthy, on 990 AM Texas Talk Radio, spoke of his fondness for lutefisk (pronounced LOOT-uh-fisk), a favorite Scandinavian food, made from whitefish and soda lye, and famous for its jelly-like consistency. According to Kevin, the Chinese invented a different way to prepare this fish, by fermenting the fish's torso in wine. (Wonder what wine goes with this fish/wine?)

                          Phoenix Lights 1997                                                    Phoenix Sky on  April 21, 2008

On April 21, 2008, the skies over Phoenix, Arizona, were illuminated by mysterious red lights. One of many who saw this odd occurrence was a pilot flying a police helicopter. He reported the bright lights lasted for about 13 minutes, at around 8 p.m. Others who watched said the numerous lights created a square, then a triangle, before disappearing. This was not the first UFO sightings in that city. In at least one other documented incident, in 1997, thousands of residents reported seeing a mile-wide, v-shaped formation of lights over the same area, that lasted for around three hours. (The cause of this latest "light show" has been determined. A Phoenix man, who did not want to be identified, said he attached lit flares to helium balloons and launched them, a minute apart, from his backyard.)

         Ivana Trump

From the New York Times, October 22, 2000: "An article in The Times Magazine last Sunday about Ivana Trump and her spending habits misstated the number of bras she buys. It is two dozen black, two dozen beige, and two dozen white, not two thousand each."

Clarence Kinder, of Charleston, West Virginia, was tickled to death in 1987, when he won $50,000 in that state's lottery. His step-daughter, Lucy Bell, said the first 24-hours after he won were the happiest she'd ever seen him. Unfortunately, that night, while making new plans for the rest of his life, Mr. Kinder fell dead from a heart attack, caused by too much excitement on his 77-year-old body.

                      As-Safir

On April 25, 2008, the Lebanese As-Safir newspaper had reported that Thursday, a Saudi Arabian businessman from Taif, a city in the Mecca Province, had given his son a "bonus" for stopping smoking cigarettes. They added, the young man was quite surprised to discover the one-million Riyals (171,330 Euros - $267,000 U.S.) added to his monthly allowance.

                                   Vomiting Frog

The emetic reflex in some species of frogs is so strong, if this amphibian vomits, the entire stomach "pukes" up through the throat and out its mouth, remaining outside until the sick frog cleans and re-swallows it. Rats, on the other hand, can't vomit. That's the reason some poisons kill them.

In June 2002, Benjamin Crevier received a personal invitation from U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney to attend a $2,500-a-plate dinner with President George Bush. Unfortunately, Crevier had to write back (with help) to decline the vice president's offer. ''I currently have $11.97 ... in my piggy bank and about $200 in U.S. Savings Bonds and my dad has promised me an allowance beginning at age 8,'' the note said. ''Would you be willing to lend me the balance? I promise I am good for it.'' Benjamin was age 5.

          Josef Fritzl                        The Fritzl' House

The Associated Press reported from Amstetten, Austria, April 28, 2008, a father, Josef Fritzl, 73, had been arrested for, among other offenses, imprisoning his daughter in a cellar for 24-years. But worse, from the time "Elisabeth" was 18 (now age 42), her father had raped her often and she'd given birth to seven children. Her incestuous father told police one of the babies had been born dead, so he cremated it in their furnace. Three of the children lived with their father/grandparents. Rosemarie, Fritzl's wife, said she thought the children were "orphans." The other three were "secret children" (ages 19, 18 and 5) and never saw sunlight until they were freed a few days ago. (Fritzl had seven other children with his clueless wife.)

                     August II

Augustus II (1670-1733), King of Poland (1697-1706 and 1709-1733), was known as "Augustus the Strong" not only for his great physical strength, but also his virility. During the 50-odd years of his extreme sexual prowess, Augustus fathered one legitimate child, and six more children he recognized as his bastards. According to some historians, he also father between 365 and 382 other children, some born to mothers of upper society. And, finally, some research indicates he may have "lost track" and had sex with at least one of his own daughters.

                  Joseph Stalin                              Time Man of the Year 1939

Joseph Stalin (1878-1953), born as Iosif Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili, ruler of the Soviet Union from 1924 until his death, suffered extreme paranoia. In his sickness, he was responsible for the mass murder and starvation of millions of Russian citizens. His forced agriculture program starved an estimated 5 million people between 1932-33; a political purge, in 1936-38, killed another 7 million. When asked about his People at a conference, Stalin produced a broad smile, and said with cheer, "Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union."

        PRC Founding                       Mao Tse-tung

Leader of the People's Republic of China (1949-76) Mao Tse-tung (1893-1976) decided as a young man to never take a bath or brush his teeth. He said a tiger never brushes his teeth, so why should he? As a septuagenarian, however, he did allow young women to rub his body with hot towels. Once he was quoted as saying, "My genitals were washed inside the bodies of my women." (Of course, there was less to wash. Mao had only one testicle.)

          Stu Grimson

Stu Grimson (1965- ), National Hockey League forward (1989-2002), who compiled over 2,000 penalty minutes during his career, deserving his nick-name, "The Grim Reaper," stood 6'6", 240 Lbs. During an interview, he was once asked why he kept a photo of himself above his locker? His answer: “That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my f***ing clothes."

       Number 74 ST Grenade
       aka The Sticky Bomb

During World War II, the British came up with a special hand grenade, labeled Number 74 ST Grenade, designed to stop armored tanks. Conventional grenades often bounced off the tanks, left to explode on the ground. Most unique to this new weapon, it was covered in adhesive, allowing it to stick to the side of its target before discharge. Biggest problem was, this very sticky device could attach itself to something else, such as the thrower's clothing, giving exactly 5-seconds to get loose or die.

         Hitler's Mother                    Whistler's Mother

From the Titusville Herald in Pennsylvania: "Just to keep the record straight, it was the famous Whistler's Mother, not Hitler's, that was exhibited at the recent meeting of the Pleasantville Methodists. There is nothing to be gained in trying to explain how the error occurred."

     DRS Technologies

At 2:00 A.M., on May 1, 2008, in Mary Esther, Florida, a 911 emergency operator receive a call for help from a man working alone at the DRS Technologies building. He called to report both his arms were trapped in a large piece of machinery. How could he call? With both arms trapped, he became inventive and "Shook his booty" hard enough to dislodged the cell phone from his belt, where, next, after prying off one shoe with the other shoe, he used his big toe to dial 911 .

According to NBC 4, WCMH-TV, in Columbus, Ohio, faithful believer Loretta Davis attended the Living Word Tabernacle Church in Waverly, Ohio, until they canceled her membership in July 2005. Why was she being ostracized? The 65-year-old, wheelchair-bound, Davis had been rushed to hospital with an attack of congestive heart failure (that year she would be re-hospitalized an additional 14 times).... preventing her from tithing $60 each month from her $592 Social Security check to this House of God in un-Holy greed.

    Ivonne Hernandez              Matthew Beaudoin

The Associated Press reported on May 2, 2008, in Nashua, New Hampshire, Boston Red Sox baseball fans had gathered at a local tavern, when Yankee fan Ivonne Hernandez, 43, became upset (i.e. got drunk enough) over being ostracized by Red Sox fans. As they left the bar, she cranked up her 1997 Dodge Intrepid and, aiming for the entire crowd to scare them, ran over and killed Matthew Beaudoin, 29.

              Books containing references

Three books housed in the British Library: (1) Constipation and Our Civilization, James C. Thomas, 1943 (2) The Romance of Leprosy, E. Mackerchar, 1949 (3) Sex After Death, Douglas Edward Frey, 1985.

On April 2, 1988, after skydiving nearly 800 times, Ivan Lester McGuire, 35, of Durham, North Carolina, deciding to turn high-tech with a new state-of-the art video camera mounted on his helmet. He was supposed to film a freefall of a student and instructor at Franklin County Sports Parachute Center. McGuire jumped from the plane with the camera rolling and aimed up towards the plane. Everything was proceeding as planned. Then, it appeared, McGuire reached for his parachute and didn't find it. (In his haste to enjoy his new toy, McGuire had forgotten to strap-on his own parachute.)

         Samuel Pepys                Katherine of Valois

On his 36th birthday, February 23, 1669, Samuel Pepys (1633-1703) had a rendezvous inside Westminster Abby, where he kissed the lips of Katherine of Valois. Later, in his diary, Pepys described his encounter with this Queen consort of King Henry V of England, using passionate phrases such as, "I did kiss her mouth," "I did kiss a queene." "I had the upper part of her body in my hands." But, sadly, their relationship was doomed from the start. While it is never polite to ask a woman her age, Katherine received the lusty lips of Pepys exactly twenty days, one month, plus two-hundred and thirty-two years after her death, in 1437.

The Associated Press, May 11, 2008, reported a lawsuit had been filed on behalf of 13-year Little Rock, Arkansas, police veteran Thomas Musticchi, seeking class-action status, to represent that city's police officers. That's because "Little Rock's finest" felt they should receive overtime pay (up to one-half-hour, both at the beginning and end of each shift), for the donning and doffing (i.e. putting on and taking off) their uniforms, bullet-proof vests, rain coats, during inclement weather, etc., claiming that city had violated the federal Fair Labor standards Act, which entitled them to three years' of overdue overtime pay. (Better headline: POLICE ATTEMPTING TO ROB CITY)

       Gokhan Mutlu

On May 13, 2008, the Associated Press reported a New York City man was suing JetBlue Airways for $2 million, pertaining to his "assigned" seat on a flight the previous February 23rd, from San Diego to New York. The accuser, Gokhan Mutlu, said about 90-minutes after take-off on that totally sold-out flight, one of the attendants complained her "jump seat" was uncomfortable, causing the pilot to make Mutlu move and give up his seat for her use. But, Mr. Mutlu said, since regulations forbid him to occupy a jump seat, he was told by the pilot to "go 'hang out' in the bathroom."

King Henry III of France

King Henry III of France (1551-89) had a cute hobby. He enjoyed chasing young French boys around his court, while he dressed in ball gowns. His gay followers, young courtiers known as Les Mignons, French for "the darlings" or "the dainty ones," copied him to exact detail, painting their faces and wearing long hair.

Several years ago Love Your Neighbor Corporation of Michigan sued Love Thy Neighbor Fund, Inc. of Florida for trademark infringement.

   Nick Drobnis, owner       San Diego Bay fireworks

Angels Flight of Castaic, California (formerly Celebrate Life, Inc., of Lakeside, CA), will take your cremated remains, load them into fireworks and, while mourners sip Champagne, explode you over a western beach during sunset. (Last heard, prices varied from $500 to $3750.)

     Restrained Pit Bull

Lawrence Bloom was a Chicago alderman in 1987 when he came up with an idea to "register" pit bulls by tattooing identification numbers inside their upper lips. However, fear limited Bloom's volunteers to too few to tattoo the tattoos.

As of May 19, 2008, NBC reported a current survey of gasoline prices worldwide showed the following in U.S. dollars per gallon: The U.K. = $8.28, Netherlands = $9.52, Russia = $3.06, Saudi Arabia = $0.45 (Someday, soon, it might be worth driving over there just to fill up, especially if you carry along that little 1-gallon gas container used to fill your lawnmower?).

When Prudential Securities learned "customer-confidence" in their name had dropped to an all time low in 1994, over complaints their agents lied to clients, they quickly set about to improve their image. Pledging $20 million for an advertising campaign in order to show dealing with them was almost like family, the published endeavor included a full page photo of real-life Prudential broker, Susan B. Gooding, with the caption below: "One of my clients is my father." This caused the Chicago Sun-Times to report almost immediately, Ms. Gooding's father had died back in 1991, and he had never been her client.

                   Texas Capitol                        John Wilson was voted one of "The Ten Best Legislators" in 1975 and 77
                                                                                                                           by Texas Monthy

In 1982, democrat John Wilson won 66% of the vote to take a seat in the Texas Senate. Unfortunately, he'd died two months prior, making it impossible for him to leave his present position.

                                  Pat Williams

Pat Williams, NBA Orlando Magic's general manager, in 1992, with his team winning only 7 of the first 34 games: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."

                                 Roehampton Golf Club

In July 1964, at the seventh hole of the Roehampton Golf Club, Putney, London, England, Bill Carey hit a tee-shot towards the putting green, as the sun was setting behind it, making it impossible to see where the ball landed. So, as darkness approached, Carey and his opponent, Edgar Winter, went searching both the green and traps around same for this lost ball, with no results. This caused Carey to forfeit, as darkness fell. But, as everyone was leaving, and for reasons even he cannot explain, Carey walked back to the seventh hole, bent over, and retrieved his "lost" ball from the bottom of that cup. In other words, even though his loss was final, he'd been unable to find his ball, because, all along, he'd made a hole-in-one.

              Blacky

The Associated Press reported May 21, 2008, "Blacky," a donkey living near Tuxtula Gutierrez, Mexico, had been released after spending three nights in jail. It then went on to explain Blacky's owner had paid the fine, equivilant to $36 U.S., made necessary because the animal had bitten and kicked two local men with such furiousness, both were hospitalized, leaving the owner to pay a $115 hospital bill and $480 to each man for missed work days.

  President Bush and Major General Jeffery Hammond offer their apologies

Tuesday, May 20, 2008, it was reported, U.S. President George Walker Bush had apologized to Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki , after an American soldier used a copy of the Muslim world's most holy book, the Quran, for target practice, "wounding" it 14 times. But, even after apologies from several levels of the U.S. Military, Iraqi Islamic party leader al-Hashemi, said an apology alone was not enough. (Well, could they, would they feel better if offered a Jewish Torah, a Christian Holy Bible, the Hindu Vedas, as well as any, all and every other religious publication ever revered, in order to shoot all of same, would this allow these folks to be more fun?.....nah.)

                     Wayne

The end 1994-95 season saw the L.A. Kings with a win/loss/tie record of 16/23/9, causing a hockey enthusiast to post these words on a sign at the San Jose Arena: "All the Kings' goalies and all the Kings' men couldn't get Wayne to the playoffs again."

  Wesley Lynn Ruiz       Carmen Delgadillo               Mark Nix

Local news tidbit shared in The Dallas Morning News, Thursday, May 29, 2008, concerned a Mr. Wesley Lynn Ruiz, 28, on trial, charged with capital murder in the shooting death of Dallas police Senior Cpl. Mark Nix, 33. Ruiz's main defense witness, ex-girlfriend Carmen Delgadillo, testified the accused, while jailed on this charge, told her in a phone conversation, he was innocent, saying "He told me he didn't kill the officer," adding, "He told me he pulled the trigger. From what he saw, he hit the officer in the chest."

       Michael Pooler

On January 4, 2008, Austin, Texas, firefighter Lt. Michael Pooler hurriedly left the station, after receiving a 911 emergency call concerning an elderly woman suffering respiratory distress. However, instead of jumping on the firetruck, he went next door to the Burger House and picked up a hamburger, delaying the response to the call by two minutes. Pooler told investigators he thought it was a "nothing call" and went on to say "That’s why I did it, I mean, it'd have been different if it was a box alarm or, you know, baby chokin’ or something." The woman's condition is unknown, but fireman Pooler's job died.

       Brooklyn Bridge           Memorial Day Massacre               Walker River

(1) In 1883, soon after New York City's Brooklyn Bridge was opened, with busy foot traffic going both directions, someone shouted out that a collapse was imminent. The ensuing stampede trampled to death 12. ( 2) Steelworkers demonstrating near Republic Steel plant in South Chicago, in 1937, in what became known as the "Memorial Day Massacre", made nice targets for Chicago police, who fatally wounded 10. (3) As a tour bus filled with elderly gamblers crossed the Walker River, in 1986, near the California-Nevada border, it crashed in the water, drowning 21.